Dear Pixie,
We are considering going to our first swingers club, but I (the wife) am really nervous. Will it be a full blown orgy or what? Your blog as been SO good for us!
Thank you!
First of all, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when going to a lifestyle club. You will not be pressured to do anything you don’t want to do by the patrons at the club. You might get hit on and flirted with and possibly so by an obnoxious guy, but that’s about it. Anything more than that simply tell the manager and it will likely be dealt with immediately. That’s pretty rare, especially on nights where single guys are prohibited. It won’t be nearly as bad as what you would encounter at a regular nightclub. Just remember, the girls are always in control in the lifestyle. The girls say who, what, when, where, and how. It’s that simple.
Getting to your question, full blown orgies in clubs are actually pretty rare… orgies meaning groups of more than four swapping every which way. While there may be a room or two (or three +) full of naked people having sex, normally it’s foursomes who have hooked up. You may see a lot of exhibitionists too where couples simply enjoy having sex in front of other people and really have no desire to swing. Most of the people who go to these clubs don’t even get naked, much less have sex there. Many couples are voyeurs and simply take the erotic experience home with them. So, while orgies can be extremely fun to participate in and equally fun to watch, it’s not really the norm in the clubs. All that said, orgies can and do happen a lot in the lifestyle, I’ve just not seen a lot of it at the clubs – although we once had a HOT experience with two couples at a club! Go figure! LOL!
My best advice when going to a lifestyle club is to try and go with another couple. It’s not unusual for clubs to be a bit cliquish. If you intend to sit in wait for hotties to approach you… good luck! Yeah, it happens once in a while, but you can sit a long time, spend a lot of money, and have nobody approach you. If you’re outgoing and not afraid to approach, then you might be OK. However, if you are meeting a couple there, then at least you have someone to talk to and it won’t feel as awkward. Like always, just lower your expectations, relate to people, laugh, play, enjoy the party, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. You can’t force chemistry, so just relax and have fun!
What I like about lifestyle clubs is the sexually charged energy and carefree attitudes of many of the people you see at the clubs. These clubs, when properly run, are very safe and inviting, and can be extremely erotic. They give you the opportunity to enter into a fantasy world where you can act in ways you simply wouldn’t in a regular club. Whether you’re interested in chatting, dancing, exhibitionism, voyeurism, or sex, you really can’t beat a well run lifestyle club!
Good luck!
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